When intentionally transforming (thoughts, behaviors, and resulting beingness…) it becomes increasingly important to identify challenging feelings.

Just now, I consumed (albeit positive) media and was triggered into feelings of loneliness. Upon digging deeper, based on the visualization that formed in my mind’s eye, I’m missing the feeling of being seen by someone who adores every part of what they’re looking at.

Once I identify the core of the feeling, I move into “control what I can” mode, knowing that the only thing I ever really control is my “self” and her perceptions, reactions, etc.

So for matters of the heart and love outside of self, I’m often forced to ask myself, are you looking at yourself with adoration lately? (Or whatever’s at the root of the feeling.) The answer usually points to where I can be more of what I’m looking to attract.

I haven’t been looking at myself with deep adoration lately. I’ve been seeing myself as tired, late, naive, and – if I’m really honest – still sometimes unworthy. I see how some of the light has left my eyes. I see them roll when I glance over the nail treatment I’ve moved down on the list since last month or the mascara and brow tamer it would only take 2 minutes to apply.

There’s a good why, a justifying backstory. There usually is. But what matters now is that I use it to write my sequel – where I reestablish my baseline and reinforce my boundaries. There’s a powerful moment in the transformation journey when you release the old story to become merely the history that informs and shapes a better tale.